Scope of a Massive Novel

I wanted to see for myself what I’m getting myself into for my third manuscript. This book will, of course, connect the first two, but will be far larger than the others because there is so much more going on in the story to get to the final climax and conclusion of the whole story.

I did some calculations by basic calculator with a slight inflated ball park numbers. Average chapter word count x current chapter count set up by my outline.

5,000 word count x 40 chapters = 200,000 word count

This isn’t counting the possible 10 or more chapters extra that I need to add into my outline that is missing from the synopsis.

I found on this site: Words Per Page Calculator where I put in the 200,000 word count to determine the page count, which came to 502 (mind, this is only for printed pages of size 12, New Times Roman font, not a full published book) The page numbers for 5,000 word count is single spaced and comes to at least 18 pages each.

Now that I understand the basic numbers of how many pages I may reach, I can focus more on the outline for setting up that possible marker.

While calculating, I nearly gave myself a heart attack, but more of a mind blowing moment. I don’t know how I came to 84 chapters during my first set of numbers since I couldn’t look back at what I had done, but if it were 84 chapters, 5,000 words per chapter, that came to 420,000 word count and 1,054 pages printed single spaced. OMG, the amount of time it would have taken me to complete such a massive book.

Glad I did a second set of numbers. Now, off to work on the outline.

A Novelist’s Special Team

A team of people can range in number and style for the needs of a project. I learned early on, like most of us in this world, in school you can’t get any class project done without your teammates. For most of my class work projects that consisted of two to four other classmates, I was shunned by the small group. Because of this, I nearly failed a few projects in History, Science and Social Studies.

I worked best by myself after that. Finding I learned faster on my own and completed projects, when mostly done by yourself anyway, I excelled at the project put before me.

As I began writing my first manuscript from September 1995 to May 1, 1996 I worked alone, of course. I continued to work alone for my second, third and fourth manuscripts that followed. I thought I learned all that I could with all the ‘how to write fiction’ books at my disposal and all the YouTube videos of fellow writers teaching what they learned along the way. I thought I had it all figured out. That I didn’t quite need a team.

I wasn’t exactly wrong, per se. More like I was afraid of being shunned again by fellow writers of the adult age group. I didn’t want to go through the shunning experience again. Yet, it finally came to it that I needed someone to help me critique my work.

My three beta readers are part of that ever growing team that were the starting off point. A few years later, Mike found me on Reddit and the rest is history at this point. He’s one teammate so far in my writing journey for the technical part at this stage of Draft 3 book 1. Critique Partners are so vital to find the developmental problems in a story that the author can’t see for all the words on the pages.

The thing is, all the writing classes in school over the years, English classes, how to writing books and YouTube videos about the process of writing and revision (reshoots I call it), none of them call the Critique Partner, Beta Reader, Editor and Literary Agent and Publisher the following – Quality Control.

Quality Control is when a team works together to check each other’s work on a project. Every nook and cranny of nuts, bolts, panels, electrical wiring, windows, sealant, carpet, etc has to be checked and double checked. Only until the airplane has gone through hundreds of quality control checks and signed by each team manager and that area’s quality control manager, can the airplane go down the next line of manufacturing. Any mistakes found, the process of that section of mistakes starts over again until it is all checked out correctly and signed. I learned this while working for a short time at Boeing.

The same rigorous quality control must take place down the line for a book. No matter how many passes through quality control team members take the manuscript until it is finally ready for publication. Without quality control, which seems to be lacking in the publishing world on all fronts, reading a book can and will bother its target audience. The reader will pull it apart finding basic or crazy mistakes in continuity, grammar, pacing, etc. This will aggravate them to no end because they were hoping to have a nearly flawless prose to read to their heart’s content.

Here’s what I learned at each early to current stage of my writing process.

Early Years – From September 1995 to May 1, 1996 I hand wrote in three black lined notebooks in school during study period, lunch and after my work was done for any said class. I even wrote in the school library sometimes. And when I had time to myself in my bedroom when I got home to write. During this time, once I thought it was ready, I type it all up on the school computers in Computer Class onto hard floppy disks and printed it out at the library.

I wouldn’t go back to this first manuscript again until 2005. I picked up where it left off on chapter 18 but typed it up instead of the painful hand written prose from years before. Once reading it through and giving it to my mother and a friend to read, beta readers to be exact, they both told me the harsh truth that I needed – Mom said, “Honey, I can’t go any further.” She had read up to 150 out of 350. “There’s nothing going on. I can’t even tell if there is a story here or not.”…Then my friend said, “How old were you when you wrote this?” he had read up to page 50. Replied, “Sixteen.” He said in return, “Oh, that’s just as bad as if you were writing it while drunk.”…Shortly after that, I gathered the typed edition and three notebooks and trunked it. I knew even by myself it wasn’t to be edited through. This manuscript was a test to see if I could tell the story to myself while writing it. I am now, however, able to salvage a few chapters for later.

New Stage Early Years – October 2009 to December 2015 was busy and full of turmoil with family and an abusive marriage. Here, I had an affair. Someone to touch. Someone to hold. Someone to talk my grievances to while I cried myself to sleep most nights in my marriage bed. The affair only lasted a few months, but to me that was enough. It was during this time, shortly before the affair started, that I had a slight story concept.

The first character that came to mind was David Geraci, but I had put him up as Ynycornus from years ago from the first manuscript and from the confines of my subconscious trying to comprehend the abuses I endured for most of my life. Something in me saw a story about my ‘spirit guide’. If he was once alive, if at all, what was his life like? What did he go through? In my mind he kept telling me, “Are you sure you want to know?” I hammered him for more. I wanted to know. I wanted to understand his side of the story that lay far out of reach to me.

He told me all he could as I wrote it down as fast as I could in notes here and there in three hard bound black book of shadows. In this process the concept took shape. Even sketching him when he was at first Ynycornus from manuscript one I drew him as best I could. Slowly, with each chapter, the story of Vivian’s journey to the ‘other side’ with the imposter Ynycornus taking her on a road trip across the country to his home in Lowell, Massachusetts. It all began to take shape.

The first draft was 24 chapters and 140,000 word count. With some help from a friend, who had originally read the first manuscript a few years prior, he helped me widdle it down to 120,000 words. For his help, it was mostly brainstorming ideas when I was stuck. Little did I realize until the fourth draft of manuscript 2, that he had convinced me to put him into the story. Since then, going back to an original draft three level for this part, I’ve erased him from the story. It had no purpose to the story what so ever. Slowing things down and all.

March 2013 I filed for divorce from my abusive husband. I then had to make a horrible choice since I had no other place to go – move back to Tennessee to live with my elder parents and brother. I won’t get into that nightmare of a situation of two years, but I will at least say this – got that second manuscript published for a one year contract in 2014.

Oh, the lessons learned from that small publisher. Damn. Won’t go into details, but when she gave me an editor and this editor pointed out problems in the first chapter and then said, “Look through what I edited in the first chapter. Go through the manuscript and find similar issues and fix them. Once you’re done, get back to me.”…Uh, what? I half assed my efforts cause I didn’t know any better, but at the same time, I thought an editor was to help you along the way? Not leave you to the wolves like that. The book was published, but there were loads of mistakes which now I have cleaned up greatly and cut nearly half the book apart to flow better. I was under an unrealistic deadline with that publisher to get the edits done in a month. That’s not how traditional publishing works. Overall, it was an experience and I sold fifty copies at least digital and paperback. I have three paperback copies myself. One of which is full editing marks in pencil and pen as study for future full on edits.

In December 2015 I dropped the contract. By then I had moved back to Washington state in late September 2015 by train. All I had on me was one very full roll duffel bag, one large roll luggage bag and one small roll luggage bag. All inside the bags were the most precious of belongings – manuscript one printed copy, two of the black notebooks of the original handwritten, how to write fiction books as many as could fit, watercolor art supplies and paints and some cloths. Along with mailing my art portfolio bag of art, Robert Forbear unicorn poster and the antique oval mirror. I was panicking when about to leave my family behind. Being threatened to be killed due to my mother’s delusional mental illness and my brother’s mental illness of threatening the same to me, I had to leave.

Midway Years – From January 2016 to 2019 I was ready to continue the story of the Geraci mansion and Vivian’s adventure of facing her pain. I had added many more characters in the now third manuscript. Before I had left Tennessee in fall 2015, I was in the early stages of at least five chapters into the third manuscript. I kept getting interrupted from my family. It was like I was the adult in the house having to maintain three adult children with childish behaviors and demands due to mental illness, Alzheimer’s Disease (my mother), alcoholism (my dad and brother) and drug use (my brother). I was the truth telling; amateur psychology doctor maintaining a mini asylum. All the while trying to write a new manuscript to continue the story.

I had come back to Washington state a mental mess. My mild PTSD, mild anxiety and mild depression running rapid in me like it dialed up to level 10 at least. Thankfully my psychiatrist Dr. K. back in TN was able to help me figure things out before I left. I was at his office at least every week to every other week depending when he had an opening. Knowing of my own mental illness, which is far more manageable than what I could dare say about my father, brother and mother (which they need far more help then I, which should have been given to them way before I was ever born)…Since I could not concentrate on my love for writing, I had to at least take a break for almost two years.

By late summer 2016 I started working more on the third manuscript. I found my zone in my writing. This third manuscript took maybe six months tops. I then dived into the fourth manuscript in the spring of 2017. I at least got 68,000 words down for manuscript three and 40,000 word count for manuscript four. Both needed far more details fleshed out and I knew this would take time. Both these manuscripts, not to mention manuscript two were FAR, FAR from being looked at by a critique partner. I at least gave these two manuscripts to three Beta Readers in 2017 since one of them had bought the first publication of Soul’s Little Lie when it was in print back in 2015. Having these three Beta Readers helped me set up an editing (reshoot) mindset later on.

Current Phase of Writing – 2020…Oh, my God. It started out just fine. I was rolling along for draft 3 of manuscript three and four nearly at the same time here and there. Mostly was working on manuscript three from January to early March. Then, all shit hit the fan for the world. Covid-19 virus.

Concentration went out the window. Concentration took her bags, jumped out of my soul and heart, leaving my brain in shock and flew the coupe! I was a mess like everyone else who had a hard time looking into working on their current or near future projects in writing, painting, animation, music, etc. We all halted to a stand still in shock.

I tried. Damn did I try to get the motor running in my manuscript editing work. I even started cataloging my writing process of what parts I was working on and how many hours worked in a bullet journal since January 2020. I was set and ready to tackle all three manuscripts to Soul’s Little Lie books. I was pumped, but ya know, 2020 year was a dumpster fire times a million percent!

I set up my bullet journal like a basic calendar that would last me a whole decade of logging. Had to do this since my favorite writing log app WriteOMeter on GooglePlay had up and disappeared no longer with updates to it. It was a sad day for everyone who used that app. It was the best.

After months of fiddling about with chapters here for edits and chapters there and note taking and author bible fixes and updates, I bit the bullet in early October. I posted my need for a critique partner on Reddit. All I was looking for was POV issues. What Mike, my critique partner, found was so much more. He’s currently on chapter 13 of manuscript three and has two more chapters to go.

What Mike found was astounding. I had already suspected as much of shifting chapters and character pieces over to manuscript four, but wasn’t sure how to go about it. My suspicions continued to be correct by Mike’s findings that with one character’s story arch shifted over to the other manuscript, it made the whole new first book flow much better. This then lead me to break down manuscript two even further to find it needed to be at the end of manuscript three which bulked up areas that were flat or missing completely.

This now made the new book one a total word count of 138,000. I can chop that down nicely since I already went through the first publication attempt knowing exactly what to eliminate. Then I saw the problems with manuscript four and how the shifted character arch to be placed at the beginning of this manuscript. This too, made its story bulkier and more connected to the drama in the story with a new location for scenes. It kept two characters closer together to complete both their story arches.

All I have to do now is fill in the blank areas of Vivian’s abuses of her husband in Act I that blends into Act II. Act III, which is manuscript two, will have to be cut a lot to make it fit, but I think I can do it. It will make four books turn into three books instead. A trilogy which is far easier to put together. Once all these ‘reshoots’ are done on my end, I go back to finding a new pair of eyes and fresh mind for a second Critique Partner – teammate #5 to the group.

In retrospect, if I hadn’t gone about swallowing my foolish pride in finding a Critique Partner, I would have sent off the manuscript 3 to querying prematurely. This would have caused set backs due to rejections. With each stage of development in the ever changing Quality Control tactics, I’ve learned far more than ever since only ten years ago. In such a short time of three months, I’ve learned exactly how Developmental Edits are done. Why that first critical step in edits, no matter how daunting it may look at first, is far more important than the piddly edits I attempted on my own.

To have teamwork to build a project as complex as a novel will propel you further toward your writing career and dream coming true for publication than you ever thought possible.

So far, 5 Beta Readers and 1 Critique Partner. The team is growing and will keep growing as the Quality Control moves along down the conveyer belt of production for future publication.

Possible Hail Mary…

I got my 10th rejection letter a few days ago. Later I went hunting in my email account in search for my previous rejection letters and found only two. The others, about seven, had been deleted or I haven’t searched for them effectively enough.

Posting them online on my personal Facebook page I got a few encouraging replies. One of them was a run down of what each of these rejection letters meant. This is what she said:

Actually the rejection from DAW is excellent news. They said even if that particular book wasn’t right for them, they asked you to submit again in the future. So that’s actually GOOD.
The second is just standard confirmation they got it. It doesn’t mean anything and it’ll take 30 days to get back to you. If they don’t *shrug*
The third is an actual rejection. Pay no mind.
Getting rejected is a part of life, and actually a mark that you’re in the writing club now. Many people never get the courage to submit, or give up after one go. Almost no one EVER gets accepted right out of the gate. Stephen King has been rejected hundreds of times. A buddy of mine only has ten works in print and 200 rejections. The object is not to quit. So don’t quit. 💗
I actually printed and framed my very first one. It’s a badge of honor marking that I’m a real writer now.”

10thRejection

Seeing this breakdown of what each one meant, even though I already understood a while ago, it was review for me to fully understand. This got me to thinking and talking with my boyfriend, who is trying ot help me see the  mistakes in my work. Then it happened…Jon saw a slight difference in the first chapter that I had not seen before or thought about. A light bulb went off in my head as I rushed to write down the notes in Volume 2 Journal, but was slowed down by him as he carefully walked back to the computer room with a full cup of coffee being sure not to spill it.

“Hurry! Hurry up!” playfully egging him forward, excitment in my voice, “I need to write this down before I lose it to the winds!”

The hail mary play was this – Jacob Umari still finds these old hand made parchments signed by David Geraci. He does a search for the name online and it leads him to Strong Waters Asylum, now named Strong Waters Rehab Center in upstate New York. While there searching more information about this long dead patient from the 19th century, he hides the files he’s found, along with the parchments and other files from that long lost case file, calls his friend Frankie needing his help and where to find them. Then something terrible happens to Jacob and his friends and family find he’s now kept at Strong Waters for medical evaluation.

Letting this new first chapter of book one steep in my mind for a day or so while going through the first draft or two in my head in story order and I realize something – Scarlet Elwood, Brandon’s wife, wouldn’t have such a heavy role to play. I can take her out and clear up fifteen slow chapters throughout all 3 books.

This also means this frees up time movement to go much faster and the possible shrinkage of book 2 cut in half and more easily mesh with book 1. Frankie would still move forward in book 1 to buy the Geraci mansion to build his story arch and Brandon would still leave Scarlet to presue his story arch as planned, but it would flow much smoother throughout all three books.

Then there’s Davon Tucker, he’d still go to the Geraci mansion with his two bandmates to film the music video. He’d interact with Frankie just as before in book 1 and still have a feel for the mansion as he goes into book 3. This would mean Jacob, Frankie, Brandon and Davon would all still be introduced in the first few chapters of book 1 and span out through the rest with ease. This would give Josh, one of the bandmates, more room to do his dirty work toward Davon instead of having Scarlet be the ‘ring leader’, which seems so out of place. Amy Tucker, Davon’s older sister, is also in on this scheme.

Having fully realized this, this means I can not take off any vacation or special events of any kind.

20th Class Reunion in August – Nope

New Kids On The Block concert in June – Nope

Gem and Rock shows this summer – Nope

Might be able to take a break for the Arlington Fly-In event since it’s right behind the house at the Arlington Airport and the noise of classic airplanes and racing planes would never let me work on my writing as they flew around for three days. Yeah, that’s my only break time. Not to mention, I’d still go out with my man to the movies.

How I work on my manuscripts is I treat it like a retail job of the schedules I used to have. I’m so used to such schedules for nearly 20 years in retail, finding it works great for writing.

2 hours writing/typing, 15min break, 2 hours writing/typing, 30min lunch (or an hour), 2 hours writing/typing, 15min break and 2 hours writing/typing until it’s nearly bed time at around 1am or 3am. This would give me a full 8 hours of work. I’d start at 3pm once my boyfriend is gone off to work and not finish until 3am or sooner. Shoot, maybe its a 10 hour shift. Damn. I can do this easy.

To add, a blank page on the screen never scares me considering how many notes I have on this whole project.

(Below are my 1st and 5th rejection letters)

1stRejection

5thRejection

Back to Washington state

I have moved back to Washington state. Family life had gotten disturbed and a family member betrayed me. I will not go into details. At least here, living with my beloved Dave, I can continue writing my novels in peace and quiet. Things here are a bit hectic to get things in order for my computer spot and in waiting for my computer to get back to me. I’m using Dave’s laptop to produce this entry tonight. I’ve been back only 2 days, after taking the train for four days, that I miss my computer something horrible. I miss my beloved coworker. A writer does not become an author, again for a second future time, without their computer.

Until then, I shall wait patiently as much as it hurts me to wait for my computer to return to my side. My loyal companion in my written creations.

Book In My Hands

2015-05-29 11-20-01.353

My first novel is now in my hot little hands!

My mother ordered the first one and it came today. I feels surreal to old my first work like this. I’ve dreamed of this day since I was little. I’m calm, but happy. I’m calm, but ready to work more into book 2. (having some writer’s block, argh) I want to get outside in this beautiful weather and dance and party with my dear friend Robert. Robert…oh dear Robert! It was you who pushed me to talk to Eden Glenn. It was you who kept insisting that I hook up with Rebel Ink Press. It was you who pushed and pushed me into the right direction to see my dream come true.

To my Parents – Thank you for reading thousands and thousands of novels in this family home over the years. For reading all kinds of genres – Romance, Military, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and Mystery. Thank you for keeping as much of your book collection as you could every time we moved around the country. Thank you for putting up with my emotions as I pushed to get what I always wanted – my dream to come true!

To my MPHS classmates – you know who you are! Thank you for believing in me and thanks for tolerating my first manuscript back in school. (THAT piece will never see the light of day) Thank you for being my cheerleaders as I kept writing. Thank you for the party to jump start me out of there. I miss you all so much!

To Dave – Thank you for being there for me throughout this whole experience from 2003-present. Brainstorming with me. Believing in me. Pushing me to write. Being my archival guy. Being there when I cried. Being my first reader and mild editor. For being there for me throughout it all.

To Robert – Thank you for pushing me toward Eden Glenn Thank you for giving me the courage to talk to her on FB. Thank you for helping promote my work and being there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for putting up with my fears and doubts.

To Eden Glenn – Thank you for pushing me toward this goal in the beginning publishing process and throughout. Thank you for being my mentor, for teaching me the basic noob learning curves. Thank you for cheering me on. Thank you for answering all my questions, and there will be more.

To my Publisher – Thank you for believing in my writing, in this story and the stories to come. Thank you for being patient with me even when I may have been confusing at times. Thank you for teaching me how it all works. I love learning this business! Thank you for believing in me. Thank you from the core of my heart and soul.

 

Now, to relax a bit, dance a bit in the glow of my happiness and re-read book 2 to get back on the ball again.

Soul’s Little Lie: Whispers In The Hall coming soon.

 

 

Mini Essays on Many Subjects

You know, I’ve been really busy going through as many videos of Philosophy Tube channel as I can. I think I should post all my ‘mini essays’ into one lump sum for you, cause now, my mind feels like it’s about to explode.

Death: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNgZ2Tb2tkM
I’ve come to realize this over the years of my life….you may quote me if you’d like – “There is no death. Only the flesh fades away. Energy transforms into other energy that is cycled through all of existence. From life there is death and from death there is life.”…..I know I may have mixed up a few other famous philosphiers quotes subconsciously as my own, but the gits of it is – there is no death.

Camus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixPJnbJL9PY
I came to realize that notion of what Camus said nearly eight months ago way before I ever heard or him or his views on life. I came to that realization of my own existence and have accepted the pointlessness of it all and yet am now free to make my life my own with purpose which then makes me happy. I’m glad I realized such a ‘reality’ because I was tempted to end my life again for a third time. Every time I realize such a break through, soul of me has breathed new life into me and I can then move forward. I’m glad I’m not the only one who had such awakens, even if to me I’m many years later on that fact. It’s a good thing.

Slut: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA8O4ptxVxc
I have over the years lost a video in which someone described the full; real definition of the word: slut. The YouTube channel was called Hot For Words. In this video the Russian woman explains why the word ‘slut’ in today’s context is actually wrong in how it is used. I’ve loved this eye opening discovery ever since and express my new (now many years old) knowledge to every one I come across online or in real life…..Slut means – an untidy woman wearing ragged clothing, on hands and knees scrubbing the floor with brush and bucket of water. (think Cinderella in the Disney animated film where she’s doing just that ‘being a slut’) A untidy, disrepectful woman who has no respect or honor in how she acts toward herself and others in what she wears and how she acts (non-sexually)….I’m not telling people out that they are wrong in the context, but to change up their view points in how they use words. How they can learn about them to better their own self well being of education.

Environment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nvz_5Jqe2_M
Seeing the world as I grew older, I watched my peers do bad things, act in negative ways toward each other in a heard mentality. My mother smoked cigarettes from age 21-65 and has had emphazima for the rest of her life. I watched her cough up ‘lung cookies’ and have difficulty breathing for many years. I learned from her mistakes and never picked up smoking. I learned from my brother’s mistakes of drug use and drinking to excess and I never did drugs or drink to excess. I learned from my father’s mistakes in not taking care of mom to get her help when she needed it and from his mistakes on not stopping the abuse she put toward me. I then learned right away to not be abusive towards others. I also learned from my peers. I learned from the bad teachers in my schools, which then later I continue my education freely. I learned from observing my surroundings. I calculated what works for me to make my life simpler and better that would later help others as they came into my life. A chain reaction of good actions….Now, with 7billion humans on this planet, still making a basic impact on it’s environment negatively due to culture processes of learned actions (monkey see, monkey do), it will take maybe two generations to realize what our elders had caused is something we don’t need to repeat in the sake of tradition. However, there’s a bigger issue which humanity has no control over what so ever….Human kind is so argent of itself that it has the audacity to think that it has any impact at all. This blue/green ball in which we are spinning around on in a galaxy is a biosphere of life. The Planet is a living, breathing, moving and feeling being. Well, in which connects to its whims and actions to better or worsen life, has consequences of its own actions through destruction into creation. No matter what we do in supposedly messing up this spherical home planet we have, Earth and the forces of nature itself, will in time shake us off like fleas. When nature does this, there is NOTHING we can do about it and to think we can is what can cause us to experience the worst consequence of all existence – poor actions towards each other cause our demise.

Kant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3xGDTn-Fcw
sips fresh cup of creamy coffee and bites into English muffin with Nutella spread Every few videos of subjects I enjoy from your channel, I take five to ten minute break to absorb what I learned or reinforced what I’ve already learned. All together, I have been sitting here since 10am EST letting my mind swim in all you have expressed. Now, my mind feels like it’s about to explode cause reinforcing what I’ve already learned in the course of 30 years, I’m nearly, I guess, at capacity until something else comes up…..The Aborigines believe that all humanity from it’s most basic forms up to now, came from ‘the dream time’. Dream time, I have come to realize after 20 years of mulling this through, is humanity was created from thought of another higher being, but not created by a religious or metaphorical being. Each individual is the observer to which our own ‘higher self’ is dreaming of ‘the self’. Each person plays out a role to the greater scheme of plans to reach a final conclusion of existence. Each person is the center of Universe playing out it’s own consciousness in trying to understand why Universe was placed into existence. A physical being with mind consciousness, within a conscious internal self, within the subconscious, within a dreaming, within another reality beyond the thinking physical actor/actress who is the dreamer onto itself playing their part. (A continuous loop of fractal reality, Universe, within a Universe) Each person is created by their own Higher Self seeing how that individual (You and myself with our own view points of our conscious existence) that Soul can learn from Universe in how to make all consciousness to it’s full potential collectively as ‘Dream Time’ keeps moving the ‘Sleeper’ onward.

****
I’m on a roll this afternoon. I’m not sure if it’s the coffee or my mind that has made me acutely aware of my surrounds and Soul of me, but I am enjoying the ride.

KEEP THE BEST FOR LAST: Backloading Technique by Rayne Hall

Keeping this as back up for myself as a little reminder for my works.

Writer's Gallery

BACKLOADING TECHNIQUE

Here is a nifty technique to give your writing style more impact: Structure your sentences so the most powerful word comes at the end. The last word touches the reader’s psyche more than any other, so make it count.

Short, evocative nouns, adjectives and verbs are best. Here’s a list for your inspiration: RayneHall - Fantasy Horror Author - Portrait by Fawnheartdeath, dead, kiss, lust, treachery, blood, fear, die, kill, deep, cold, heat, dark, boil, pull, grave, grip, grasp, hope, sear, scream, thrill, scar, bone, flesh, skull, wound, pray, pain, soul, child, flee, trap, teeth, curse, escape, safe, love.

These words, on the other hand, have no particular effect: it, then, them, across, through, there, somehow, around,  under, of, off, for, that, be, others, his, her.

Often, restructuring the sentence is all it takes, or perhaps adding, deleting or replacing

View original post 135 more words

Garden of Future Possibilities

There are those creatures in your mind that claim to take control of you when you are not looking.  These creatures of the mind have many names – Depression, Anger, Fear, Sadness, Melancholy, Moody, and Demon. They whisper in your mind’s inner ear hurtful; untrue things to us.  They pretend to know us with calm voices, angry voices, emotional voices to sound like you.  The way to hush these creatures inside us, these demons is to force them into submission.  Crack a whip at them like venom from a snake.  Crack that whip as loudly as you can inside your mind.

The demon Depression is among all the others in your Garden of Doubt.  You stroll through it careful not to step on any of them so not to rouse their sleeping heaps of flesh and shadow.  Soon, you find an ‘interesting’ demonic Depression or Fear.  You walk up softly to it, and as the demon awakens, snarls at you throwing its venomous words your way, you stand tall and crack that whip of Submission. The sound is mighty loud as though Zeus the God of Thunder himself threw a bolt at the Demon’s feet.

Cracking the whip once more, “NO! You are my bitch! You come with me! NOW!”

That very moment the Demon Depression has a steel collar around its neck.  Demon Depression whimpers, but then screams at you obedience hoping you’ll cave in.  You crack the whip once more, the Demon cowers back and follows you to your work space.

Crack the whip again and point, “Get over there to the wall! Chain yourself or else!” The Demon growls angerly at you, but then gazes at the whip and obediently takes its place against the mighty Wall of Faith.  Looking upon this Demon of Depression chained by all four limbs, you study it to great detail.  Then, a light bulb goes off over your head!  You star to write!  You star to paint! You take a break from the work and you dance with glee at what you created from said Demon of Depression. Soon the work is done. You admire the beauty of what you created.  As you hand your piece onto your Wall of Creation, you look back to see that the Demon of Depression has shrunk in size to that of a puppy. The darkened colors of blues, purples, sickening greens and brownish-yellows has all be faded out. All that is left of the Demon of Depression’s colors are transparent, fading ever so more and more as the life energy from it’s darkness has been transformed by your work of inspiration.

Just before the Demon of Depression fully disappears, it transforms into a seed.  A single seed in a shape it chose to be – pastel colors in oval shape?  A glorious gold in shape of a twenty side dice? Silvery shimmers come off of it like light from the sun or moon as you old it in your hand. You hold the seed close to your chest as you smile with love all around you. Turning away from the Garden of Doubt, you open a gate to another garden – the Garden of Future Possibilities. You walk through the garden with pride. For each battle with the Garden of Doubt, you reap what you sow of the seeds in which the Demons transformed into.  The Garden of Future Possibilities is colorful beyond measure. The colors are endless. The flowers of all kinds of shapes are endless and beautiful.

Finding an empty place to bury the seed, you place it in the hole and cover it in the good tilled earth. Water it with light. Give it plenty of shine from your soul. Watch your garden grow with strength of your heart.

What will you find in your Garden of Future Possibilities? You won’t know until you put that Demon of Depression into submission. You are the Master of Depression. It will be hard work to fight them all even if you have thousands to face every day. It is your job to face them, but remember you don’t have to do it alone. Call a friend to help you fight the demons with you. You are not alone in your darkened garden. There is light and love waiting to help you. Reach out. I know you can do it.

Robin Williams, suicide, and being a coward.

I have suffered from years, nearly 30 years of depression day in and day out along with PTSD due to abuse from a very mean spirited; hurtful mother. I tried to do myself in twice in the past and am grateful for my friends who reached out to me. I’m even more grateful for myself to have found the courage to reach out to them when I needed them most. It does get better. We all may be a 1 Person Army when it comes right down to it, but we are all together on this ‘Island Rock in Space’ wanting, needing the same human comforts of each other.